Welcome to THEJNSREPORT’S: POSERS A look at how we as human beings treat one another based on appearance.
Written by T.D Moody
Often times in life one comes across an experience seemingly so surreal they can’t believe it’s happening. Life playing out like in the movies. Is it really life imitating art or art imitating life?
Recently a friend relayed one such experience that she encountered out with some girlfriends of hers where at a lounge, a good friend of hers who was visiting from out of town brought along her uptight boss to hang out with them. I thought to myself she must have felt it necessary for job security or something to really hang out with her boss in her down time. She continued to say that it just so happened that her friends boss was celebrating his birthday that night so the pieces fell into place. As a kind gesture my friend offered to buy a birthday shot for her friends boss to which the boss sneered and looked her up and down before saying “My friend owns this lounge”. She continued to say that’s great but still I’d like to buy you a shot, so what kind of shot would you like? She says he looked her up and down again and then said Grey Goose and walked away from her. To which I said Wow!! He sounds pompous. At that moment my friend says her friend standing right there having just heard the exchange tried to diffuse the situation by making an excuse for her boss that he was just a little drunk.
She however, would hear none of it and decided she out of principal would buy the shot to let her friend’s boss know that she not only could afford to buy top shelf but that she had the class to follow through on her word. I stopped her at this point of her story to ask a question or two. I began by saying before I ask what you did next? I want to know the name of the lounge and what was the scene like? To which my friend replied the name of the lounge wasn’t important and that the crowd was mixed. Continuing her story she says that the boss was surprised when she actually came towards him offering the shot of Grey Goose and toasting him with one of her own.
She then went back towards her girlfriends and ignored her friend’s boss for the rest of the night. At which point her friend accused her of doing what she had done out of pride. I could see that as a possibility but my friends argument was that if it was pride and she actually couldn’t afford to buy the shots then it would simply be a matter of pride. Her argument was she had the money to do what she did and show this guy that his attitude not only was disrespectful to her as a woman but also because he presumed that she couldn’t without knowing a thing about her. She then said that in her mind that whole exchange was how she’d expect someone to act towards a poser. Someone who acts as if they have more means than they do in order to impress. I thought about what she was saying and it made sense.
I thought about how often I had seen people who clearly were out of their element drinking in clubs or bars and not have any money to buy their own drinks or tip when served. So this led me to ask my friend something that came to mind. Often times we as people look at and judge others on the way they look outwardly. We do make assumptions about people based on how they dress and carry themselves. So my next question to my friend was how were you dressed? His attitude could have been based largely on his assumptions he may have made about you based on how you were dressed.
Her response was “It doesn’t matter how I was dressed. I could have been wearing overalls if I wanted to and that would still give him no right to talk to me that way or assume that I couldn’t afford top shelf.” Just so happens my friend has a good job and makes really good money so for her it was the thought that this guy had that she couldn’t possibly have the means to buy what she offered and her reply would be to prove him wrong.
I had to admit her point made sense and was definitely the classy thing to do versus say throwing a drink in the jerk’s face.