THEJNSREPORT

MTA Etiquette 101

Posted by THEJNSREPORT on June 17, 2012

Posted in: Social Commentary. Tagged: mta buses, public transit system, Social Commentary, transportation, travel. Leave a comment

Today’s topic is about another subject that has become a passion of mine because it deals with “the world’s best public transit system” NYC transit.

Welcome to THEJNSREPORTS MTA Etiquette 101.

For many of us “straphangers” riding the bus and trains on a daily basis is the same as breathing. In other words we need it to live and go about our daily routines. Without the MTA system many people could not afford to get to and from work and/or school.

The city would be at a halt because while there are taxis most people can’t afford to take a taxi every day everywhere they need to go. That being said, there is a growing problem that is not just due to the economy and inflation,which of course is threatening the working class even more so than those who live below the poverty line.

Here are some of the major problems I see with the transit system starting first with the ever increasing MTA costs for those like myself and many others who buy the monthly metro cards vs single ride fare buyers and the nonpaying public .

COSTS AND WHY I BELIEVE THEY ARE INCREASING

The number one reason I believe costs are constantly increasing with the MTA (outside of corruption) is because many MTA employees simply don’t enforce fare collection. Fare jumping is harder to do when referring to the subway and it’s toll booth operators who are in decline, simply because more often than not fare jumpers are more likely to be caught hopping a turnstyle by police in plain clothes or uniform than say on a bus.

On average, I’d say from my very own experiences that MTA buses are where a large majority of revenue is lost. New York City is the city that never sleeps, and it runs on people’s energy hustling and bustling to and fro especially during “Rush Hours” of the work week.

Often times bus drivers are overwhelmed with the number of students and adults alike who are on their way to work and school. During this mad rush of customers some feign ignorance about how to place their metro card into the card reader.

Once they hear the beep that the card is no good or there is no sufficient funds on the card to pay for their ride they look at the bus operator as if in total shock. I sit observing trying not to judge but often times am not able to help myself wonder if these people see themselves.

One knows (especially if you don’t have money) how much money one has on a metro card if it’s in fact one’s own card and whether or not it’s a monthly unlimited or weekly unlimited every time that card is swiped. It is even displayed when that card expires.

Further more, if it’s a non unlimited card the dollar amount is displayed when swiped as to how much is left so keeping track should be a simple enough task to handle. To wait at the bus stop the entire time knowing you don’t have the fare and then play the game of “Oh my card doesn’t have money on it, I didn’t realize that” is one of the most basic and patently stupid displays I’ve seen over and over again on a daily basis.

Once again, referring to common sense in Bar Etiquette 101, if you don’t have the money to ride the bus or the train even with the free 2 hr transfers, then walk to where you need to go. It may suck but that’s the price one has to pay if he/she can’t afford the fare.

In one instance a man and his girlfriend board the bus and the woman goes ahead of him and takes a seat while he attempts to pay the fare for the two of them. No other passengers board the bus after the two enter yet the man stands near the bus operator and searches through his wallet for damn near the entire trip acting as if he is trying to find either coins or a metro card.

I’m sure he’s thinking that both the bus driver and the rest of us fare paying passengers are idiots believing he’s actually wanting to pay the fare for himself and his girlfriend. It was an absolutely ridiculous scene to watch this grown man pat his pockets over and over and search his wallet for the millionth time knowing he had no money but not the guts to say so.

By the time we got to the stop that the two wanted to get off at, the bus driver called the man out on it saying “Hey man don’t play with me. You and I both know you didn’t have any money. Instead of standing here and playing this game the whole time searching for what we know you don’t have, why don’t you just man up and say hey, listen I’m strugglin I don’t have it can I get a ride to where I’m going?”

You see that at least shows that one has some character and humility. Simply asking for a free ride is often better received than a blatant disregard for doing what’s right and paying the fare for use of the system.

The problem arises when that gesture is abused over and over again. And it’s done by man, woman, and child alike. The kids learn it from their parents and peers and think it funny because they aren’t the ones being directly impacted by those thefts of service.

This is not to say that I’m not sympathetic to the struggling poor who may simply just not have the money to pay the fare every day but I see it as more egregious and unfair for those like myself (the backbone of the economy) the working class who do the right thing and pay their fare for use of the system, to see people outright lie or just cheat the system for no other reason than they think they are entitled to and there is no consequence for their actions.

It doesn’t occur to this segment of the population that someone else has to pay for their theft. Ultimately what has happened is that the someone else’s are the customers who buy the monthly unlimited metro card.

This has been the case more so in the outer boroughs of the city than say Manhattan but still this occurs all throughout the transit system. Here’s another example of what I see on a daily basis.

A group of kids will wait at the bus stop and while some actually have a bus pass provided to them because they are low income they ride for free by simply swiping the school provided passes, then on the other hand a large group of kids without passes wait till the back door to the bus is lit and opened by exiting riders or simply pull the doors open and enter the rear of the bus while the bus operator has to pay attention to those who come in through the front entrance to the bus.

It’s easiest to get away with this during rush hour again because the bus operator is one person and he/she would rather let a few people get over not paying than to anger an entire bus full of passengers who are depending on the operator to get them to their destinations while keeping as close as possible to the posted route schedule times provided on public bus stop posts.

There have been times where I’ve noticed the driver actually aware of this but willfully turn a blind eye because he wants to avoid any stress inducing exchanges. On the flip side I have also experienced a bus operator refuse to drive the bus until one or two people who didn’t pay their fare are pointed out by fellow riders or get off the bus which is tantamount to extortion because again for those of us who pay our fare we’re through no fault of our own then delayed because of the selfishness and the theft of services of others.

What makes the situation even more untenable for the fare paying public in these instances of non fare paying riders is the fact that there are those who display expensive clothing and cell phones but not the $2.25 it will cost them to go where they need to go.

How backwards is that? I say if you can find the money for a new pair of Jordan shoes, or designer jeans or an iphone while yapping incessantly out loud about nothing of importance simply because you’re “hood” and want to be heard talking then you can find the $2.25 that includes a free transfer. It’s basically repugnant Maggot behavior period.

MTA SERVICE AND THE CUSTOMER

Now having addressed how revenue is lost, lets turn our attention to yet another problem with the MTA. As stated earlier, in order to cover the costs of lost revenue due to its employees failure to enforce fair collection, the MTA in its wisdom has decided the best way to combat this problem is to pass on the costs to the unlimited card buyers which is unfair in my opinion.

I’ve listened to and participated in conversations with MTA bus operators and toll booth clerks who have explained the rationale behind the fare increases as necessary. They say it’s because with the unlimited cards there are clever folks who apparently found ways to abuse the unlimited by waiting the allotted time for the card to be able to be swiped multiple times at the same location in order for say an entire family to ride for the cost of a single ride.

When added to the revenue losses of outright non paying riders the problem is amplified. The MTA decided to increase this allotted time to make it harder on those who would use this approach but I’ve actually seen it where a family will wait well over an hour at a station passing the metro card back one after the other until everyone has entered using the one card.

This is not to say I personally would stay and watch the alotted time elapse but I’ve seen the card being passed back over the turn style and the mother wait with her children while the father waits outside the turn style till he is able to swipe the same card again.

That being said, I tend to believe that most of the purchasers of monthly or unlimited cards don’t wait at a station trying to wait out the time it would take to pass the card to another person but the point is taken that because the potential for this abuse to occur exists, steps have to be taken to curb it.

Perhaps a reasonable deterrent would be to raise the time it would take to be able to swipe the same card again after it’s initial swipe at the same location to a full hour vs increasing the price of the card itself.

In addition, on the bus routes where they know clearly ridership is high, why is it that the MTA won’t assign the large double buses to those routes and the smaller single buses to the routes that clearly have less riders on them?

One route in my neighborhood in particular that clearly needs this is the #27 bus route in the Bronx. It makes absolutely no sense that this hasn’t been corrected in forever and the fact that I can on almost a daily basis see two, three, and sometimes even four of these single #27 buses come back to back in the span of a minute.

Sometimes they come bunched back to back. Clearly the bus operators are not adhering to the scheduled post times and are actually loafing on the job. If it’s the dispatchers fault for these colossal blunders then someone needs to say hey guys instead of having so many drivers that can’t even keep a schedule, lets deploy the double buses to accommodate the larger amount of riders waiting to get on the bus.

The biggest complaint most of us riders who depend on these buses to connect to the subway in order to get to work is that these bus operators when they know they’ve messed up take it out on the riding public by rudely turning on their “NOT IN SERVICE” Banner on the front of the bus or they display the “NEXT BUS PLEASE” and zoom on ahead leaving dozens of us out in the proverbial cold, wondering what the hell just happened?

With all that said, I have ZERO sympathy for these MTA Bus Operators who complain about their jobs when they make a better living with benefits for doing basically nothing half the time while others suffer because they abuse the cracks in the system in how they operate.

They should have GPS on these buses if nothing else to prove to us riders and themselves that the bus operators are on schedule and if not where they are and how long we as waiting paying customers can expect to wait before they show up.

The count down clocks that NY finally saw as a great idea that San Fransisco’s subway system has had for decades is one of the better ideas they’ve implemented in a long time. I mean in the one city where a minute goes by like that, this should have been a forethought not an after thought. I guess it’s better late than never though.

In my opinion MTA service has declined to a point where the typical MTA customer is lumped together with those who don’t pay as just one big pool of users that should be content with whatever level of service they get.

Frustration, anger, and resentment are exactly what they (MTA) should expect when service quality takes a back seat while fare hikes get passed under little to no public hearing or review. And while I can recognize servicing the public is at times a thankless job it is a job where providing high quality service is a prerequisite especially in lieu of increasing fares.

I remember when the MTA first instituted the metro card and unlimited cards were$ 63 dollars a month. Today that price has increased all the way to $104/month. When you consider the first increase raised the price from $63 to $70 and up from there to $76 followed by $81 to $89 and then the massive increase to $104.

To have fares constantly increasing and yet have so many service delays, reroutes, redundant default PA announcements about train traffic when clearly there is no train traffic and until recently no clocks letting the passengers know when they could expect the next train or bus to arrive only exasperated the situation even more.

Then compounding the fact that you take into account that an expected travel time from one locale to another is X number of minutes but can’t be relied upon because the bus operators decide to show up when they want to and roll right past an already waiting and expecting public who depend so heavily upon their arriving on time.

I’m surprised there haven’t been riots on the MTA headquarters. Having been a victim of this countless times, frustration would be an understatement to say the least, when it comes to how customer service is perceived by the riding public. And for me I exclude the nonpaying because they riding for free in my opinion can’t have it both ways.

You keep your mouth shut when you ride for free if the bus is late. You let the bus operator have it when you pay for on time service and they have scheduled times posted and its not adhered to routinely.

To make matters worse, when you do manage to get one of these buses that’s clearly running behind the posted schedule and ask the bus operator the reason for the delay, usually you’re met with an attitude of disgust and rudeness.

One case where even though I was mad because of the bus being late, which in turn made me late for my appointment that day, another rider asked the bus driver why he was late and the bus driver replied “Hey if you don’t like it don’t ride the bus. Come earlier”.

I almost gagged right there in complete shock. Excuse me you asshole (was my thought). How dare you be late and then not even care that his lateness had a negative impact on the people paying for the service he’s being paid to provide on time.

The now more than pissed off rider responded “Listen, you don’t tell me if I don’t like it don’t ride or come earlier. If you’re late you should comp the ride and apologize for not being on schedule. I have to get to work and you being late has now made me late.

I bet if your check was late from the MTA you’d be in the office raising hell about your check being late. Well, you’re making my check late!!” To me that was far nicer a reply than the bus operator deserved.

He then told the bus operator he wanted his name and the number to file a complaint. The bus driver refused to tell him the info. It didn’t really matter to me if he gave the guy the information he demanded because I could see all one would have to do is take note of the bus number on the upper right hand side of the bus at the front entrance, the route, and the time of day and perhaps glance at the badge number on the drivers uniform then call 311 and make a complaint.

Can you imagine what would have happened to that employee had he been working for a private company and spoke to a paying customer in that fashion? In the words of the Donald “You’re Fired!!”

PASSENGER TO PASSENGER COURTESY

Next up is what I like to call caring about your fellow man/woman and being considerate of your fellow straphangers. Too often at times I find that the average bus or subway rider is so absorbed in being selfish that its almost sickening to think that human beings run the world.

Case in point. I have gotten on buses numerous times where there are row after row of fat fucks or just selfish ass people who decide they should be the only ones to have a seat while they are on the bus.

Seriously row after row of double seats where the person sitting sits in the aisle seat and places either their bag or food on the adjacent vacant seat as if to say they paid for use of both seats when they boarded the bus.

And god forbid if one should ask them to excuse them and let them sit down, one would think the person was just asked to give up a limb or an organ. Again it’s absolutely repugnant maggot behavior. I’ve seen young guys and girls alike who see an elderly person or disabled person enter the bus and essentially ignore them, act as if they don’t see them, or have to be yelled at to give up their seat by either the bus operator or a disgusted passenger who recognizes this hideously selfish behavior. Why are we as people so messed up?

There is virtually no difference on the trains in this continued selfish behavior. You board a train and idiots stand blocking the door way of the train instead of moving into the center of the train where there is clearly more room. Again I ask why? Are they allergic to actually having common sense.

Sometimes, I tend to think they actually are not human at all but blank drones that must be programmed continuously and consistently in order to get the most basic and common sense things done. Move all the way into the car people!!!

Then you have the douche bag guys and girls alike who sit down where three or four people could have a seat and decide they need to spread their legs as wide as possible so as to prevent someone else from sitting down next to them.

And lets not forget the Maggots who actually have no home training and actually place their legs up on the seats as if they’re at home reclining on a lazy boy. I mean where does anyone get off thinking that (assuming they even paid their fare) they are entitled to take up more space than their very own physical dimensions.

And speaking of dimensions, I believe the MTA truly does need to look into charging large morbidly obese customers double the fare for taking up double the space. I mean I can’t even begin to count with this country’s growing obesity epidemic, the times I’ve been just so disgusted to enter a bus or train car exhausted and see someone who’s clearly lacked any facet of discipline to control their enormous size to the point that they literally take up 2 and a half seats.

Some actually have the unmitigated gall to look at you for looking at them in disgust! WTF!!!? In an alternate universe I’d have the police dole out as many tickets as they could just for these people being so fat. I don’t care if it sounds mean or insensitive because clearly that’s the problem.

People want to be nice and sugar coat the fact that someone has eaten them self into that disgusting condition and want everyone else to ignore the obvious “Great Elephant” in the room, their enormous size. I say instead of sitting down it’s these same people who need to stand the fuck up literally and burn some of those 1,000,000 calories they’ve accumulated.

I remember once years ago while on my way to Bowling Green Station I was sitting in an end seat of a number 4 train. There was clearly enough room for two people to sit I had one half of the seat and there was space for the average adult to sit next to me.

At about 3 to 4 stops before reaching Bowling Green a large black woman entered the train car and looked around. There were a few open seats around the car but for some reason this woman decided she wanted to sit next to me. I remember thinking “Oh my god no!!!! She has to know that both she and I can’t fit in that seat together.

I thought she has to know that she won’t fit and should look elsewhere. Well folks, I’m here to tell you I was wrong in that assumption because this huge woman came right to where I was sitting, mind you I was sitting next to the railing attached to the seat.

This big bitch forced her enormous self into the space next to me and the impact of her slamming herself down into the seat literally with her pressing against me sent me leaning over the railing of the seat with my ribs being crushed against the railing. I couldn’t believe this was actually happening.

She on the other hand seemed unphased and content that she had managed to sit down. The entire car began to laugh at the scene that had just unfolded. I managed to squeeze myself free and just stood looking at her in disgust before I got off at Bowling Green Station.

Pure selfishness and greed. If she hadn’t been so fucking fat it would not have bothered me that she wanted to sit down, but it was the fact that she actually disregarded the fact that I was a human being and she and I could not coexist in the same seat due to her globulousness.

Globulousness defined: The physical state of being an enormous glob. Also see having the shape of a globe. Globular: beyond rotund, disgusting girth, morbidly obese, also see EH. LOL EH: Acronym for Enormous Humongous. Simply put there are two things that must occur here. 1) Stop eating so damn much and get a healthy normal size portion of food when you do eat. 2) GET YOUR FAT ASS UP AND EXERCISE! LOL I jest in excess here but seriously the obesity epidemic that’s growing in this country I see every day using mass transit. It’s very sad.

GREED AND CORRUPTION

Now onto probably the most basic reason for increased costs, greed. Greed by MTA higher ups and greed by MTA employees who are contracted to work on projects that should have a shorter time frame to complete but are dragged out for the sake of having a job and making money indefinitely.

One night while waiting for a train going uptown during the renovation of the Atlantic Ave station in Brooklyn, I over heard two MTA crew members talking to each other on the platform near the tracks where some other crew members were working.

The two were discussing how long the project should take and where the crew was in the project. To my surprise one crew member said something to the effect of “So how long before the job is completed?” To which the other crew member replied “Hey, the kids gotta eat and go to school.”

I took that to mean clearly while there was probably a deadline for completion of whatever rehab job they were doing, there was obviously some chicanery going on as far as dragging the job out longer than necessary in order to accrue more hours of pay and over time. Sad and scandalous but this is the world we live in. Everything is about getting over on the next man. Either way ultimately any extra costs to any rehab projects gets passed onto the customers and there you have it.

The 2012 NBA PLAYOFFS

Posted by THEJNSREPORT on June 8, 2012

Posted in: Social Commentary. Tagged: eastern conference finals, nba, sports. Leave a comment

Welcome to THEJNSREPORTS Take on the 2012 NBA Playoffs

The remaining teams involved in this years NBA playoffs as of 6/8/2012 are The Boston Celtics, The Miami Heat, and the Oklahoma City Thunder. Of the remaining elite teams in the NBA today I look at the team I came to love ever since his rookie season Debut from the University of Texas, Kevin Durant and the Oklahoma City Thunder. When looking at the faces of each of the aforementioned elite teams you find a collection of very skilled, supremely talented athletes playing one of the most beautiful games to watch when played at its highest level. Oklahoma has to be the prohibitive favorite in the finals for the simple fact of look at who they beat to get there. They knocked out the defending champs in a sweep (no surprise as that teams roster had changed dramatically and Dirk not the same player as a year ago), they knocked off the Lakers with an emergent Bynum and vintage Kobe, and then they dominated the vaunted Spurs after two shaky first games. Albeit, they did give away game 1 after having a 15 point lead at one point. The Spurs with a rejuvenated Tim Duncan and led by Manu Ginobili and Tony Parker seemed like they were on the verge of sweeping their way to the title until a clutch and Superstar Kevin Durant along with James Harden Serge Ibaka, and Russell Westbrook got their games going and then made the adjustment of switching a bigger and highly skilled defensive stopper in Thabo Sefolosha onto Parker to neutralize that deadly pick n roll that had been killing the Thunder(mainly Russell Westbrook whom I love at the point when he plays it the right way) in the first two games . Now they wait for the winner of the Boston – Miami series. Which leads us to Game 6 of the Eastern Conference Finals.

Last night we were all witnesses to the emergence of a newly focused Lebron James. His will and stamp was put on the game like never before albeit he has had some memorable high scoring playoff games. This was a game for the season and immediate future of the Miami Heat. James started the game off with a look on his face that said all business. He looked like a young Iron Mike Tyson when he walked to the ring and stared down his opponent. Setting the tone from the opening tip Lebron made a statement. He had heard all the criticisms hurled at him. He knew that while he had carried the Heat for the majority of the playoffs and wasn’t getting much help that if he lost he would go out not regretting any moment where he could’ve displayed the all supreme talent he has been blessed with. James played with a passion and focus and fury reminiscent of past greats of the game and completely dominated the game from tip to finish on both sides of the ball.

Defensively they got rebounds and were off to the races and led by effort and all out attack combined with a plethora of shots, James single handedly saved the Heats season for at least another game. If nothing else we know that Game 7 will be an exciting one as winner takes on the Oklahoma City Thunder for the title. Boston for all its glory days and veteran leadership was relegated to an aged team that couldn’t muster the energy and shot making Lebron was doling out at will against them. In the end a 19 point route at home was all the Celtics could think about and the fact that they quite possibly ended their season with last nights lackluster performance. Game 7 from American Airlines Arena should provide plenty of thrills and excitement. Will Lebron and DWade and Bosh show up and be able to turn that Heat team into the Championship caliber team everyone expected to win a title? Only time will tell.

Bar Etiquette 102

Posted by THEJNSREPORT on June 6, 2012

Posted in: Food & Drinks, Social Commentary. Tagged: Bar Etiquette, Bars, Bartenders, Drinks, Etiquette, going out, Social Behavior, Tipping. Leave a comment

Welcome to THEJNSREPORT’S: Bar Etiquette 102

In the previous blog, I mentioned some basics to know and expect when going out to bars as far as customer – bar staff relations go. In today’s entry we will take a look at some examples of bar etiquette when it comes to receiving comped drinks and bad bar etiquette as far as customer – bar staff relations and customer – customer relations go.

If you are a regular at a bar, then I’m sure you are aware that as a regular in a bar, you tend to receive some perks. The perks could come in the form of where you sit in the bar whenever you go. If it’s a sportsbar that you attend, it could come in the form of always having a certain TV tuned to whatever your favorite sporting event is or team that may be playing at a given time.

It could come in the form of your drink being poured heavier than the standard pour, or even be a double of whatever your drink of choice is. However, many times a perk is usually having a shot or a drink comped to you by a bartender that is the regular bartender that serves you. Sometimes all of the aforementioned can be received as a set of perks simultaneously, simply because you are a good customer and/or a regular and have established that relationship with the bar you attend and your bartender.

When it comes to drinks or shots being comped by a bartender, the proper bar etiquette that should enter one’s mind is to “Tip” your bartender. Generally speaking most people tip a dollar per drink but if you think about it, a fair tip would be $2 to $3 dollars for a comped drink and depending on the type of liquor being poured (Top Shelf) more than several dollars (especially) if you are a regular of the bar and are comped regularly.

Tipping A) Shows your bartender that you recognize that he/she is doing you a favor and saving you money. And B) Shows your etiquette level in recognizing that he/she is working and not working for free. There is no greater offense to a bartender than to comp a customer a free drink and not receive a tip in return.

Any tip is better than no tip, however, with that being said don’t tip your bartender with change like a quarter or two even if that’s the change you receive back. Having class and exhibiting it usually nets you good service and a much better bar experience when interacting with a bartender.

Now when I say having class and exhibiting it, that is not to infer that one has to have a lot of money to have and display class. It simply means when tipping keep your change for the bus and put down a bill. Remember bar etiquette 101. Having the money to socialize in a bar means you should be prepared to tip when you know you’re going to be out drinking.

The next thing to know in Bar Etiquette is do not abuse perks such as comped drinks. There is nothing more telling about a patron who routinely comes to a bar and expects that they should be bought a drink by a staff member that “knows” them every time they show up. That gets old real quick and can cause you to wear out your welcome not to mention that perk.

If you combine that with not even having the etiquette level of tipping on top of that, then that welcome could be worn out even sooner than you think. Which in turn could lead to other bar staff recognizing that you are in fact exhibiting maggot behavior and are nothing more than a parasite.

Imagine a scenario in which a group of bar-hoppers go out barhopping and one member of the group takes his friends to his bartender and gets a whole round of drinks comped. Imagine now the group pools their money together and places a nice fat tip for the bartender on the bar while they continue to drink and carouse until they are ready to leave and leave the tip money for the bartender under a glass.

They thank the bartender for his service before departing to their next location. Now imagine that they only later find out, that the same group member who brought them to that bartender, stole the pooled tip money off the bar as he exited. Can you imagine the expression on the face of the bartender when he realizes he has been stiffed by the group (who actually tipped)? This action would unequivocally lead to resentment and loss of perks for that particular bar-goer in that bar. Not to mention the fact that the bartender would most likely then associate that behavior with the group and not just the person who stole his tips.

Here’s another example of heinous bar etiquette. When as a customer you assume that the bartender is too busy to notice that you were given back the correct change and you insist that the bartender short changed you. One must be aware that in most bars, there are security cameras watching not just the crowd in the bar but the actual bartenders and their bartending stations especially the registers. Trying to get over on bartenders during this time would not be a wise thing to do.

This is especially true when you consider that chances are the customer is the person most likely to be impaired due to consumption of alcohol rather than the bartender. Potential for abuse has and can happen the other way round for that exact same reason. So caution should be taken on both sides. Count your change when it is given back to you immediately and in front of the bartender if you desire before you leave your tip to ensure that you have been given the correct change. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen this as the result of laziness on the part of an intoxicated customer who hasn’t realized that he/she was given the correct change before becoming belligerent and erroneously accuse a bartender of trying to rip him/her off.

Happy Hour Etiquette:

During Happy Hour most patrons know that they are receiving two drinks for the price of one every time they place an order with the bartender on duty until Happy Hour is over for the night. Once again where “Common Sense” would dictate even for novice bar goers you should understand what the meaning of Happy Hour is before going to a bar. I’m never surprised at the lack of basic bar know how by today’s patrons.

I’ve heard the most dumb questions about Happy Hour imaginable from what’s 2 for 1 mean? LMAO, To comments such as “I didn’t know that Belvedere isn’t 2 for 1. Why didn’t he tell me that?” Generally there can be a grey area depending once again on the establishment that you go to for happy hour as every bar has their own Happy Hour specials and lists what is or isn’t on the menu for 2 for 1.

However, if you are not a novice at going out to bars then you would know almost no establishment gives away top shelf liquor during Happy Hour at 2 for 1. In the rare instance that that should occur it would have to be some sort of drink promotion by event promoters for the particular liquor. In either case as a basic principle I urge all bar-hoppers and patrons alike to read the signs outside the bar and inside the bar before approaching the bartender with a question that need not be asked, if one only took the time to R.E.A.D!!!

As tedious as it may seem to read anything a bar posts either on a blackboard or a poster within or without their premises, reading what is posted publicly should be instinctual to society. Yet many of us are willfully ignorant of our surroundings and what documents are put before us. If it doesn’t dazzle our senses within the first few seconds it’s ignored.

This common laziness has to be rooted out because the social decay in educated adults has become very alarming. Another important point to keep in mind during Happy Hour is basic bar etiquette subcategory A) Knowing how long Happy Hour is at whatever the particular establishment is you choose to patronize. It never reflects well on someone to be blatantly ignorant of the hours of Happy Hour Specials and then get upset with the bartender who can no longer honor the Happy Hour Specials as the time has expired for the Specials. In some cases a bartender may be willing to accommodate a late purchase if you are nice enough in your asking for it. Not saying ass kissing is required but a polite demeanor and request will most likely get you that accommodation versus bitching and pitching a fit over missing the Special 10 minutes past its end or more.

Customer to Customer Etiquette

Yet another example of bad bar etiquette is in customer to customer relations. Namely when using the restrooms of an establishment. I assume most people who go out and frequent clubs or bars have at some point or other come into contact with inconsiderate fellow customers who feel that the world revolves around them and so little to no thought is given to the amount of time taken in the restroom or the sanitary conditions left behind for fellow patrons.

I also tend to assume that most people would take care of their business before going out for a night out on the town, but then again there is no accounting for nature you go when you gotta go. As a general rule when nature calls and one is in a bar or restaurant restroom proper bar etiquette dictates that a courtesy flush and clean toilet seat is left after one has finished their business.

Whether a bar or restaurant has one barback or many on duty it should never be considered acceptable for one to leave a restroom in worse condition than it was found. That lack of respect is not just visited on the other customers who may need to use the restroom after you but an indictment of the type of character and hygiene practiced by ones self.

You wouldn’t want to have to use a restroom and when the moment of truth arrived find that you could not use it because it was left in such a disgusting unsanitary condition that you would need to clean it thoroughly before being able to relieve one’s self.

To Wash or Not to Wash

Should there be even a question as to whether one should wash his/her hands after using a restroom? Hand washing is another practice that is paramount in social behavior and bar etiquette. Giving fists bumps is not just a way of greeting someone but has become a practice taken as an alterntive to an open handshake. And why avoid open handshakes?

Well when considering people who frequent a bar, and whom visit the restroom, you’d be surprised at the number of people who don’t wash their hands after using the restroom. No matter what the excuse “I didn’t piss on my hands” or “there’s no soap or hand towels.” Even if there’s no soap, there’s no excuse to not at the very least use water and rinse your hands as best as one can before exiting a restroom.

Logic dictates one shouldn’t shake hands if he/she knows the other person A) didn’t wash their hands after having used a restroom. And B) when deciding whether or not to take chips or pretzels from a common bowl on the bar where it’s open to everyone putting their hands in it. As another a general rule and principle: I avoid eating bar foods like nuts, pretzels, chips, trail mixes and the like unless I had my very own private bowl.

When in doubt as to the hygiene of someone or as a general precaution unless you know the person you will shake hands with, giving a fist bump is an acceptable form of greeting someone without palm to palm contact. Fist bumps are the most practical and common form of a handshake without actually shaking hands. It’s courteous and allows one to limit contact with potentially filthy unwashed hands.

More examples to come in the upcoming Bar Etiquette 103. This has been Bar Etiquette 102 by JNSREPORT.

Bar Etiquette 101

Posted by THEJNSREPORT on May 23, 2012

Posted in: Food & Drinks, Social Commentary. Tagged: Bars, Etiquette, Nightlife, NYC, Social. Leave a comment

Welcome to THEJNSREPORT’S: Bar Etiquette 101

Today’s topic addresses a social norm, that I believe in my generation (30’s) and many beyond, has diminished. Therefore a reminder of what I like to call “Common Sense” will be addressed in regards to how one should behave when out in a social setting, namely a bar.

Generally speaking when going out to a bar in NYC I find it interesting how so many people don’t have the basics of bar etiquette down. For example I tend to think common sense in a situation where one doesn’t have money to spend, would dictate that one would wait till they had the money to go out.

As simple as that sounds I’ve been unexpectedly surprised at the number of people that do go out who don’t understand that simple concept. If you still decide against this and do go out, you must keep in mind that you having no money gives you even less reason to be a douche bag to the staff of a bar especially bartenders. I’m going to hit the topic from both sides of the argument. Proper etiquette from bar staff towards customers and vice versa.

Point one: When as a customer you enter a bar and have decided that you want to order a drink. You should approach the bar having in mind some idea of what it is that you would like to drink. If you don’t know what you want or are ordering for yourself and or a group of people it is absolutely essential to know exactly how many drinks you will order, what the drinks will be by proper name or lay men’s term for whatever drink it is and have your money ready when given the tally.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been on line to order drinks behind a bar novice or some ignorant and impatient douch-bag that doesn’t know what it is he/she wants and holds up the line with stupid questions about the bartenders looks or workout habits. Get your priorities in order people!!!

Point two: If you know that you are going to order more than one drink and your order will be complicated then start by only ordering exactly what you know will be simple to handle. Pay for the drinks then return for the rest allowing others to get a chance to order.

I realize that some people lack common sense to figure this one out so I say as a general rule of thumb try to order no more than 3 drinks unless they are the same thing. Don’t decide after being served your Cape Cod or whatever your drink of choice is, that now you want a BudLight or something else. Bartenders hate this and will remember a patron who unnecessarily makes life harder especially in a busy bar with many waiting customers to be served. It’s all about being efficient, considerate and above all smart.

Point three: How not to exhibit maggot behavior in a bar. When you begin to feel your buzz stop drinking and enjoy the buzz or at the very least have a bottle or glass of water between then and your next drink. It won’t hurt to give your body a chance to rehydrate as alcohol consumption dries you out. Not too mention the more drunk you feel the less likely you are to be aware that your judgment may be impaired to the point of you acting like a total tool, or douche -bag. If you have been told by friends on more than one occassion that you can’t seem to handle your alcohol then drinking in excess should always be avoided.

Point four: Do not assume that just because the staff of a bar is friendly and you’re a potentially paying customer that that gives you the right to harrass, grope, or be unnecessarily in the way of the staff of the bar. Remember if you want good service treat the staff accordingly. A little courtesy and respect goes a long way. And it may even lead to you getting some perks.

Point five: This is directed at the staff of the bar namely bartenders. If one considers the fact that they are in fact in service to the public, then doing everything to appear professional and courteous should be the immediate concern of all bartenders, as you are the face of the establishment even more so perhaps than the door man or barbacks.

If a customer has been waiting for a long time and becomes impatient simply letting them know that you will be right with them will at the very least give them the sense that they are important and are recognized by the bartender to be served. The pace of the city is not exempted in bars. People want to be served courteously, accurately, and above all else fast.

Smiling and having a pleasant attitude is essential. Just think of what impression you’d get if you went to a bartender who looked miserable or disinterested and was slow in filling your order or was preoccupied with talking too long with friends or other customers or even checking a cell phone while you waited to be served. Word of mouth is still important and once a negative reputation is established it can be hard to get rid of. Stay tuned for more to come in Bar Etiquette 102

Till next time this has been Bar Etiquette 101 by THEJNSREPORT.